It’s been seven years today; I think
it really hit me around 4:30 PM PST today because that would have been at 7:30
PM EST, which is when she left this world. Even when I had my traditional sub
from subway and my Fuzzy Naval wine cooler that didn’t really hit me that she
was gone and that it had been seven years. Then again I couldn’t go to down to
the river here because it was still flooded down there. So I did the best I
could with what I had to work with.
But who knew that just a moment in time
could really bring it home. That she was gone?
Fate is not without its irony I guess.
Or maybe it is just simply karma or the deck of cards or the winds or the
writing in the tealeaves or the way the cookie crumbles
Seven years that she has been gone,
seven long years what has changed? I still miss her very much I still miss being
able to talk to her I still miss being able to go do things with her.
I miss going out and
sitting down by the river and eating a dinner at nighttime and talking about
things.
It may
have been things about the friends or just the events of the day or her book or
whatever but I just miss those times I miss being able to see her and hear her
I miss so much
about her its hard to believe that time doesn’t heal all wounds it just makes
them a bit easier they say. But that isn’t always true either.
There are some days I think it’s to hard
to go on some days when I think its to hard to miss her and to want to be with
her.
There are
times that I wonder how I will face a day not being able to actually bug her and
drive her crazy
Then again isn’t that what brothers do? To drive their
sister’s crazy or as I would actually say to her Crazier since she already had
bats in her bell free
But I do miss her deeply There are so many times I just
want to pick up the phone and call her and so many times I think I cant wait to
tell her about this.
Stupid isn’t it? To reach for the phone to call her or to
find her on a irc chat somewhere or yahoo or something when you know she isn’t
going to be there.
But I guess that is what happens when you are used to
having someone in your life all the time and then suddenly they aren’t there any
longer